My ‘No’ List

Every so often you come across a realisation that makes you stop and think, and it literally blows your mind.

You discover yourself in a whole other way.

I came across a blog post on Instagram recently, by author Sally Hepworth. She had been interviewed on a podcast and had happily shared her list of no’s… that is, things she says a firm NO to, time and time again.

Her list was so surprising, so long, so wide and varied, that she was asked to share it again… the short version, I believe. 😮

Here are some (emphasis on ‘some’) of the insane things on her list that she says NO to:

  1. Entering the school grounds of her kids for ANY reason

2. Cooking dinner

3. Remembering birthdays

4. Entertaining at her home (apart from her close friends, and then it’s only takeout 😮😮)

5. Talking on the phone (unless it’s work or an emergency)

6. Dancing

7. Playing with her kids – not like park outings or play dates, she means more like hide and seek or dolls 😬

8. Going to the supermarket

I KNOW! MIND BLOWN, right?

I was freaking out, because firstly she has 3 kids. And secondly, I do all of those things, sometimes daily!

It must be said here that Sally has a very supportive husband who pretty much does all the things she doesn’t as she goes about supporting the family with her day-job, i.e. writing.

Nonetheless, it was an enlightening and thought-provoking piece, and it left me with the ultimate question…

What is on my ‘no’ list?

I went to Hubbie the next day, a little upset. I actually felt like I didn’t have much of a ‘no’ list! Sally was so badass, sure of herself, laying down rules and foundations, etc etc.

And Hubbie said to me “that’s not a bad thing!”

Awww. Trust him to make me feel better.

He assured me that not having a big no list was not bad. It meant I was easy going and chilled about things, and that was great in itself, just as Sally is awesome for setting her boundaries!

We can all be awesome, and are awesome… just in different ways. 😁

So, I must ask, and I bet you’re already wondering, counting, pondering… what is on your definitive ‘no’ list? This is the list that you are very clear-cut about, no umms, maybes, sometimes yes, sometimes no.

This is dead set, NO.

Now that’s not to say that you aren’t allowed to ever change your no list. In fact I would be a little disappointed if you didn’t change at least some through the years. That’s life, and we are always changing and evolving, shifting as we enter different life stages and come across new realisations.

Do you wanna know what’s on my list? (But you have to promise to share some of yours!)

Here’s my very small ‘no’ list, and I’ve been sitting on it for weeks now so I know it won’t get much longer, despite my hardest to be super badass 🤣

  1. Ironing. It is overrated, time wasting, and I hate it. I admit, if I have to do it (pre-fancy occasion), I begrudgingly pull out the iron… but I curse the whole time, and still think it’s shit when I’m done.
  2. Super high heels. Like, why would I want to risk killing myself, and buckling my toes in the process? And walking like a baby horse that’s just stood up for the first time?
  3. The cold, and cold activities. The snow can wait for me, like all my life.
  4. Sucking up to people. I physically can’t do it. I recoil. If you think you need to suck up to someone, news flash, you don’t, you just need them out of your life.
  5. Coke. Never. Ever. I found my kindred spirit without meeting them in my uni days, when scrawled along the outside of a building I saw the graffitied words “coke is great toilet cleaner.” Now when I ask baby girl what coke is good for, she says happily “cleaning toilets.” Case closed.
  6. Any messy activities baby girl engages in, like play doh, glitter, glue, paint… must have newspaper underneath, and must be supervised! (Not so much a ‘no’, as a ‘no buts’). I’ve even been known to set her up outside on sunny days, on the grass, just so I have less mess to deal with.

That’s it. That’s my minuscule list, but I guess looking over it I’m a little badass about it. 🤣 It’s really easy to go the easy route and start listing food and drinks you don’t eat, but that’s cheating a bit, and unless it’s something truly shocking, I don’t think it counts as one to put on the ‘no’ list.

So now, share! Please tell me yours. 😁📣

Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

Expand your horizons

We live so much of our life looking in.

In the day-to-day, and even in the wider aspect.

I realised this after walking to a nearby cafe this morning to grab a coffee. I placed my order, went outside to wait…

And immediately pulled out my phone.

I scrolled, I scrolled. After some time I realised there was nothing fascinating on it, and remembered the days of pre-mobile devices, and how when you waited for something, well you just WAITED.

(Yes I do remember the days of pre-mobiles, even though it was a long time ago).

I initially looked around me. The groups of people, partners and those with dogs on leashes, sitting around at the tables out front, sipping on hot beverages, talking, making company.

Still, I was only focused on what was in front of me.

I made a conscious effort then, to look UP. Around. At the crisp blue sky, the houses in the neighbourhood that I just walked by without a second glance. The trees, and which ones had branches that seemed to touch the sky, and which housed nests for all the bird-life by the bay.

We focus inwards and on the little details so much, that we become consumed by them. They become our all, our life, our everything. And we forget about the bigger picture. The trees that loom in the background, providing us context of place. The sky that is so vast and huge that we forget it is even there. The sun that sets, and rises, its predictability so guaranteed that we take its warmth for granted.

We live our lives in this superficial manner. We become obsessed with trivial things, believe our problems are the greatest, and try to control all the storylines within our life path.

We must be more like nature. Going with the ebb and flow of it all. Shifting with the Winter breeze, or dancing under the Summer sun.

Take stock of what is going on in your life, sure. But also remember your place in the scheme of things. Instead of asking, “how will this affect me?” and trying to control the outcome, perhaps ask instead:

“How can I change me, and the world in doing so?”

Look at the bigger picture. Remind yourself of the sky, the stars. Look up. Look around.

And then take a step forward.

Photo by Jill Burrow on Pexels.com

Quickie book review #1 Unexpected and expected things

MORGAN MATSON – The Unexpected Everything

For my first of my ‘quickie’ book reviews I bring you this YA novel from Morgan Matson.

Andie is a 17 year-old whose life is planned to perfection. At the surface level all seems ideal – she has a pre-med summer program lined up at a prestigious university, her future career prospects look good, she has the best friends a girl can have, and her Dad is a prominent congressman.

But when a scandal rocks their world, she has to readjust her entire way of seeing out her summer, the people around her, and her world. Insert the most amazing and happy-go-lucky season of her life… but as it ends will all the good around her end too? Will she revert back to her old self, or take her learnings into her new future?

Gripes: There is heavy overexplaining throughout, teenage cringy/typical at parts and some chapters, particularly the first half of the book, were sooo long, I wondered how the hell they weren’t divided up into two.

Pros: It deals with the whole gamut of teenage experience, from broken down family, friend conflicts, boy lust and love, issues of identity and fears of failure. It has it all, and it has real heart too.

This YA novel aligns itself with the type of books I used to read growing up, but despite the happy and hopefulness present, it is also surprisingly real, not everything tied up in a neat little bow. This initially impressed me, but pondering on it I felt there could have been more closure with some plot points, especially seeing as it isn’t a series. Maybe that’s why it bugs me, I want to see them again, to check in and see what they’ve done since.

BANG. When you like the characters, you know it’s a win.

Baby girl says the darndest things #11

I had to share this beautiful moment from earlier tonight, even if just so it’s stored away somewhere, a back-up against unreliable memories, worries and useless facts.

Baby girl and I were watching The Babysitters Club on Netflix. When it first came out I was excited: I thought it’d be a good thing to share with baby girl, and I could relive the book series I loved so much all those years ago.

It HAS been a good thing.

Watching a scene tonight between Dawn and her mother, baby girl turned to me lovingly, with a wistful look in her eye:

“Mama, when I grow up… I can’t wait to look after you.”

Awwww!

Before adding sweetly “now you tell me that when you grow up, you’ll look after me!”

🤣

Darling, I’m getting there. I’m still trying to ‘grow up,’ whatever that means. ❤

The 500 club

So, yay! I reached a milestone with my blog the other week…

My other blog.

Carcrashgratitude to be precise. This blog that I created, birthed from my parent blog, this smikg.com, has now amassed over 500 followers.

519 to be exact, as of this writing. 😁😁

And it’s great! My offshoot blog has almost doubled the followers of my original writing blog, and I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER.

And why? Because gratitude, that’s why.

I just wanted to write and celebrate my little win, my ‘happy progression’ as it were, but also speak to you about how I came to be here, and place some perspective, some thoughts on this experience, and maybe even offer some advice for some of you who may be starting out…

So how have I managed to exceed the number of followers with my second blog when it arrived on the scene two years after my first one?

  1. Consistency is key. I blog every single day about an item of gratitude. Looking at my latest title, you will see that it’s at 1887 days of consistency.

That’s 1887 days of gratitude in a row. If I said it was easy, I would be LYING. I’ve almost given up many times, and all those hard times was when life got really, really hard. But I was proving something to myself, more than anything else.

So, I’m still here.

2. Second. Photos help A LOT. I can’t tell you how often a well-placed photo gives me more likes.

Clearly, I don’t do it for the likes. We’ll come back to this one in a moment. But people are a visual species, and seeing something, even if it isn’t your photo (the Pexels free photos option via WordPress is great) encourages a person to click on your post sooner. The photo tells them the story, before your post does.

Also, food photos tend to be really popular. Just saying for any would-be chefs.

3. Don’t just follow for the sake of getting likes back, please. That is so trite. Be original for goodness sakes.

Just be honest. I think we’re all immune and desensitised to commonplace, fence-sitting ideas and thoughts. Be yourself. No one else will be.

4. I haven’t overly promoted myself in all this time. I haven’t promoted myself, really at all. In the WordPress world, I’ve liked blogs that I genuinely like, and let the blog grow organically from that.

Just remember… I have been doing this carcrashgratitude blog for 5 years now. So 500 followers in 5 years, is really not much…

That’s about 100 a year. Less than 10 a month. Of course more recently my reach has grown exponentially, but we are talking averages.

5. Why don’t I care about followers? Well let’s be honest, I do, kind of, because it means that people are appreciating what I’m saying and my words are having an impact. So that, I care for, greatly.

But if you are a writer, you are going to write, because you love writing. It’s something in you, and no matter how much you write and you write and you write, you will never ever get it out.

The writing bug that is.

Therefore, people clicking like or follow, is just the icing on the cake, the sugary sweet, superficial stuff.

It’s not the bread, the carb, the density of the cake. The whole piece that just took you hours to bake and get out of the oven.

So, if you’re a writer and just starting out, keep going. You’ll be glad you did.

If you just wanna join the ride, my carcrashgratitude blog can be found here, with a little story about how it all came to be, here.

And yes I am being cheeky and all self-promoting, I’ve done that before too, here.

Ha ha ha. Now I am being too much.

Anyway, thanks for joining me on this ride.

To quote a masterful genius…

“We are gathered here today, to get through this thing called LIFE.”

💖💖

Photo by Tessa Wilson on Unsplash

What I can and can’t read

I had a revelation the other week.

Not really a full-blown knock my socks off lightbulb moment, more this was a slow burn, a gradual dawning and coming to understand what it is I should read, and what I should not…

This idea cemented itself in me as I had sat on the couch before midnight, finishing the last 20 pages of the novel The Light Between Oceans, while CRYING MY EYES OUT.

I can’t do sad stories. Not now. Maybe even, not ever.

I realised it first when I was reading Burial Rites. A deeply haunting, fascinating tale, but ultimately one that made me sick to my stomach as I finished the last chapter. Actually, sick, in a gagging way.

Following on from that with my latest read, The Light Between Oceans, and though I didn’t feel nausea, I was deeply anxious for the characters from the second half of the novel onwards.

At one point I nearly stopped reading when I thought there was the possibility that MY IDEAL ENDING wouldn’t eventuate.

But I convinced myself, surely it would, surely there weren’t people raving about an amazing book, when it left you on such a sad note?

Well, guess what?

IT DID.

Really, it broke my heart. I have no bad words to say about the writing, the plot, the setting… the author describes the characters and place so poetically, and with such elegance, that to know this book received many awards is absolutely not a surprise.

Even the plot, which ebbs and flows, growing gradually at first, that becomes a can’t-put-this-down, edge-of-your-seat page-turner that you must keep reading towards the end. No faults, at all.

But, I have to question, and I ponder, and I think, again and again and again…

What kind of frame of mind does one have to be in to write this kind of story? How can you feel any sense of satisfaction, knowing readers won’t be satisfied?

And what kind of frame of mind does a reader have to be in, to actually LOVE this type of sad story?

It is driving me crazy.

I’m still IN the novel, the feelings and the melancholy and the feeling of loss still following me, and I feel I will never read an award-winning book again…

Because they all seem to deal with huge, hard, really difficult and sad emotions, and I can’t do sad.

It reminds me of another book I read many years ago, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. She wrote something I still remember to this day. She always felt she had to read a certain type of genre book, but those kinds of books brought her no joy.

They brought her no happiness. So she was going to stop reading them, accept that they weren’t for her, and choose ones that brought her happiness.

This decision brought her a huge sense of liberation, and I think I need to do the same.

Maybe if life was all going to plan, and there were no dramas in my life, and I had no problems… maybe then.

Maybe then I could read a sad story, just to know, awaken the senses.

I get that life will always have it’s problems, but I seriously believe that maybe if my life was devoid of confusion, deep frustration, and things were generally more peachy than keen, then maybe, maybe then I could be happy about a sad ending that made me heave with sobs, my pjs becoming wet from my stream of tears.

Like, if I was bored. Life was so good, it was boring.

Yeah, if I was bored. Like that’s ever going to happen. 🙄

I need to know how you feel. Can you read sad stories? Have you read this one? Am I just overly empathetic and feeling too much?

You know what it made me realise though? I wanted to read stories of youth, of drama, crazy days, love and lust and gossip and secrets, revelations and family, friendship, coming-of-age and acceptance.

All bundled up into a nice little off-the-beaten-track package.

I wanted to read, MY STORY. And you know what they say?

Write the book you want to read.

Well, I better keep on then…

Scared to get off the train

PAULA HAWKINS – The Girl On The Train

“… It’s because I feel like I’m part of this mystery, I’m connected. I am no longer just a girl on the train, going back and forth without point or purpose.”

It’s the everyday girl at it again, taking your sympathy, well-meaning thoughts and constant cheerleading from the sidelines, and stealing them before jumping onto the moving train.

Yes it’s the everyday girl, but the ever day girl in crisis and beaten and battered by life, is what works in fiction, stories, LIFE.

I’ve been noticing this a lot lately, and maybe it’s because I happen to be reading books like this more often right now, or maybe it is too prevalent… I don’t know. I know it works, but it has made me more aware of my own representation of women in my works.

It works. Don’t get me wrong, it does. And as much as it appears overused to the brim, this concept still has you turning page after page.

I was made curious already by the end of chapter 1.

Hawkins does well to keep you interested in her thriller. The tone of the book starts out cheery and with some hint of positive promise, and as we are exposed to each day of this fairly ordinary girl, and her journey on the train every day, we start to gain glimpses of darkness, of sadness, and of desperation.

It is a slow reveal, much like the old-fashioned train brakes squeal slow slow slowly to a screeching halt, deafening you with their metal-scraping sound at their destination.

She is an ordinary girl yes, but her life is messed up in more ways than she can count, and as reader, you sway quickly between thinking of her as pathetic, to feeling really sorry for her. It’s a fine line.

An early insight of her darkness comes in the first chapter:

“Living like this, the way I’m living at the moment, is harder in the summer when there is so much daylight, so little cover of darkness, when everyone is out and about, being flagrantly, aggressively happy. It’s exhausting, and it makes you feel bad if you’re not joining in.”

Such a true observation. I love it much more when I come across a passage in a book that rings so true to me, to life.

And with this early intrigue into our poor protagonist Rachel’s life, we learn many things, all of which make this a fantastic thriller.

She is an alcoholic. Centring a thriller around the inconclusive and unreliable memories of a drunk is a GREAT start.

She has an ex that left her for another woman, and they live in her old house. Ouch.

And she has been privy to a love story unfolding from her seat in the train, about the supposedly ideal couple that lives doors down from her old place… but then after witnessing something that shatters that love story, something happens.

All the characters are, or become, intertwined with each other in this story, and this becomes apparent both as the story progresses, but as different characters points of view come into view per chapter, with the first differing view being from her arch nemesis, the woman who took her ex away.

Oooh! Juicy.

I found this an interesting tactic, and a foretelling one, as it’s risky to have the point of view of your protagonist’s enemy expressed in a book. Naturally when you put someone’s point of view in a book they organically become more understood and less hated by the reader. Even killers have been known to have their motives understood in this way. So to have someone so apparently selfish and self-obsessed, have her views and opinions expressed and validated and EVEN understood, is a huge deal. It is an important one too.

It is a book about clues. There are clues throughout as to ‘who did it,’ who people really are, and what their real intentions are too, but of course these clues are so well imbedded, that as I was trying to read into every detail, these clues just became extra details. The clues not only reveal things well in advance, but their mention spikes interest and keeps the story moving forward.

There are hints of adultery, hints of cheating, and hints that things are not always as they appear, clearly a prevailing factor of the story. What Rachel sees while on the train, is not necessarily as rosy and perfect as it is in real life. This is further supported by the differing points of view that we get, as we are suddenly privy to another character’s actual thoughts and real everyday life, something far removed from Rachel’s perception of them. The fact also, that Rachel cannot remember what happens after she gets drunk, is further testimony – how can you trust your own head, thoughts, memories, when they are based on substance abuse? She is as clueless as we are as readers.

As for Rachel as protagonist… sure we like her. A bit. We root for her because sadly, she is quite pathetic. Her drinking and lying get her in trouble time and time again, and sympathy reigns supreme as she pines for the life she used to have, the life she lost. We root for her, because we want her to get it together, but then we also want her to solve the mystery and prove to everyone that she isn’t incompetent! Unfortunately, she treats small victories like she deserves a reward, and those rewards come in the form of a drink. So the cycle is ugly and seemingly never-ending. If anything, that on its own serves as a warning – do not drink: it can mess up your head and you will fail to solve a mystery!

The scary element comes in not knowing what has transpired in the time that she was inebriated… she often can’t remember anything. She’ll have a message or email as memory, but will have no recollection of it. This isn’t just frightening for Rachel, but as reader you have to wonder: if she can’t remember what has just happened in the last 8 hours, there is the very real possibility that she did something horrible while drinking and now also can’t remember it?

The book gives us realistic representations of life, not just in the sad honesty that is alcoholism – she is constantly on and off it, and sometimes only stays sober as she wants to stay involved and know what has happened – but there are the media references too. Things like facebook, email, even X Factor make an appearance. These social media references stand out so starkly, and I couldn’t help but wonder how a book like this would be received let’s say 50 years down the track… would it still make sense? But then again we still read Austen today and we don’t care how out of date that world is!

“…the part of me that can’t resist a bit of drama is actually quite disappointed.”

Although this is stated by Rachel, you will feel anything but in this page-turning thriller. The number of times I changed my mind on who I thought was guilty was overwhelming, and I had a number of wild theories about who did it, only to be proven wrong time and time again. Rachel is drawn to the scene of the crime like a moth to a flame, and the risk of getting burnt is almost guaranteed. But it is drama to her dull life, and she can’t help herself from going back, time and time again.

The biggest message from the novel could be this: someone else’s life could look ideal when you take a glimpse from within a moving train… but when we look a little closer, we can hear the harsh words spoken. Bear witness to the constant arguing. The holes in the walls… the un-slept beds.

Ultimately this is the story of people, how they change, how they are perceived differently from one person to another, and how we can never really truly know someone… anyone. And it stays true to the theme ‘the grass is not always greener on the other side,’ or should I say,

“life is not always smoother once you’re off the train’s tracks.”

Please let me know your thoughts on The Girl on the Train in the comments below, I would love to discuss with you. 😊

A great lifestyle

Switch Lifestyle

Westfield Fountain Gate, 352 Princes Highway Narre Warren

(Visited November ’18)

It was always going to be a great day.

Of course it was, when two generations of girls were getting together to eat, drink, and then…

SHOP.

Okay so the little girls wouldn’t quite appreciate the satisfaction in the latter task just yet…

But it was never too early to expose them, right? 😉

A long overdue catch up is what had me catching up with my cousin, and our girls. My girl, and her girl.

Girls girls girls. 💖💖

It was mine and baby girl’s first time at Fountain Gate shopping centre. We had trekked the 40 or so minutes over, and upon walking through the centre’s doors discovered a whole lot of really awesome shopping options. 😍

But we weren’t there purely for the shopping. It was the lunch time catch up. We found my cousin and her little girl, and with my slightly bigger little girl, headed on over to Switch Café.

It was a Friday in Spring, and it was still and sunny, though there weren’t many people lunching out that day. Inside it was quiet, perhaps a bit more upmarket and reserved, with diners scattered here and there close to the entrance doors, while we opted for a more, shall you say, child-friendly spot.

Outside. Where we could make as much noise as we liked 😉

The menu was a bit fancier than your standard lunch fare, and that reflected in the restaurant’s atmosphere. A wide range of pizzas, salads and burgers accompanied by more traditional sit-down meals like roast chicken, fish and steak elevated it to a nicer than average lunch time option.

And then there was the dedicated kids menu. Always a massive plus when trying to decide, as options to adults for their brood is like sprinkles upon an ice cream for the kids.

When it came down to ordering, I went for the Crispy skin chicken breast – with a warm salad of potato, kaiserfleisch, red onion, roquette, roasted garlic & lemon mayo, red wine jus

Baby girl had the kids meal chicken schnitzel – chips & salad OR peas, corn and crispy potatoes (hers was the peas and corn option)

While my cousin got the Hawaiian pizza without pineapple.

Baby girl also opted for apple juice with her meal, which made her tummy all the more happy, you can be assured.

So she was pretty happy, because it was good ol’ fashioned kiddie fare… chicken, chips, peas and corn. I loved the chicken schnitzel as opposed to nugget options, as the meat is far cleaner and better to eat. It was a healthy and satisfying lunch time meal. The extra veg on the plate, so cute and tiny? Awesome. Little fingers love little food.

I loved my meal. The chicken was so succulent, the jus it was surrounded by was so flavoursome and delicious, and tied together with the potato, onion and roquette (I call it rocket, but it still tastes just as amazing!) my mouth was dancing, so happy.

It was a really heartening but healthy meal. We followed it all with babycinos for the girls, coffees for us, and ice cream for them too (not pictured, it went too quick!) It was course after course of course.

Everything was great, and to be honest we were just excited watching our two princesses eat and drink alongside each other, that the food would have been great even if it was a bit below par, just for the fact of our attention being on the girls… but it definitely wasn’t that day. The food was delicious and watching the little princesses, it was a real “aww!” moment.

We walked off, hand in hand, ready to shop ‘til we dropped… or pooped. Whichever came first. 😉 🤷‍♂️

Food: 7.5/10. I loved the options on offer, from your everyday basic lunch fare to your classier sit-down options.

Coffee: 7/10. Pleasing and accommodating.

Ambience: Pretty quiet and chilled. We were surrounded by other restaurants/cafes, but in our little sheltered corner there wasn’t much going on… bar the craziness on our table. Suited us just fine 😉

People: Friends and couples catching up from what I could spy inside.

Staff: Friendly, and helped with our questions.

Price: I have no idea! My cousin shouted! However, the menu will have likely changed from our dining experience to the posting of this review, so best to check out their website at https://www.switchlifestyle.com.au/ And also keep in mind any current covid restrictions while you’re there.

Advice: I can’t think of any, other to say if it bothers you that it’s quieter during the day, visit them on weekends or at night, and if you prefer the quiet… well a Friday afternoon seems calm enough. 😉

In a nutshell: I think this is a great stopping point between shopping or movie watching, a resting place to catch-up with friends, or simply somewhere to indulge in a really lovely lunch. And the dedicated kids menu, means that I am more likely to Switch on over to their dining next time I’m in the area. 😁

Switch Lifestyle Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Slow steps are still steps

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” – Paulo Coelho.

This quote greeted me today as I sat down to work from my desk at home. I managed to smile somewhat amused, while wondering –

“Does the same apply if you’ve fallen 216 times… and it wasn’t just in this COVID year?”

“Shouldn’t getting up then, be harder?”

The answer came to me, like a whisper in the air…

‘Falling down that many times should make it easier.’

Tonight’s sunset. Possibly the last I will snap for this year. A year that has been rife with drama, heartache, loss, sadness, frustration, and SO much sickness.

I, like many, are heading into the new year VERY cautiously. I do like the idea of a fresh slate, but remember, the construction of life, of time, into days weeks months years, is a human construction.

One digit in the year date changing, does not mean things will magically change.

We, US, have the power to change our life and our state, every day, every hour, and every minute with our decisions.

Scary stuff, right?

As a kid I always wanted to know SO BAD, what was going to happen to me in my life? Where would I end up? What would I do? Who would I be surrounded with?

I’ve come to realise that we just aren’t meant to know.

Life can be seriously scary, and the last few years have shown me that. Tell a person the obstacles, hardships and frustrations they will encounter over the next few years, and they will likely collapse and die… and I am not even exaggerating. People would just give up. Cry mercy and throw their hands in the air, throw in the towel as it were.

Nothing.

So instead, we know nothing. This is how it is meant to be. This is how we get through life.

Slowly. Minute by minute.

Hour by hour.

Day by day.

Step by step.

Living in the present moment. Being in it wholeheartedly. Dedicating ourselves to the nature of just being, and by being in that space, finding that slowly, but surely, we are inching forward.

That is my plan for the new year. Really, my only plan.

We can’t guess, nor can we assume to know what will happen. It would be ridiculous to. And this past year has shown us ALL, how we really do know nothing.

It might be good. It might be bad. Likely, it will be both.

But how much of either, and when, and how?

Don’t fret.

As the sun soon sets on the day which many people will celebrate the end of, remember…

It’s all in your head. Sure, have fun in the moment. God knows we deserve it.

But remember, each day…

Step, by step.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Getting to Christmas amidst a pandemic

I had to question myself the other day, only days before the big festive day.

“Why was I so behind in Christmas preparations when we had been in iso over half the year?”

Why wasn’t I prepared?

Why didn’t I get to it earlier?

What was I doing ALL THAT TIME?

It’s enough to make you feel down and unaccomplished, especially in comparison to those that share their Christmas achievements, way from, I don’t know, OCTOBER.

But it’s been a tough year. A tough year for many. A tough year for ALL.

Like something I read on social media… we have all been in different boats. Some of us went through the pandemic in a fully-manned yacht… others were swept up in the storm from within the rickety confines of their dinghy.

Everyone has had such a different journey, so it’s important not to compare their covid boat ride, with yours.

Just like all of life, really.

We are all on a different life journey. Things will happen at different times for ALL of us.

We will be sad when others are happy, and vice versa.

We will be well when others are sick.

And vice versa.

Personally, I had both good and bad. Good in that I was fortunate enough to get a job just as the lockdown began.

Bad in that I experienced a bevy of health problems that manifested physically, and then caused me a great deal of mental stress.

When you throw in the worries, routines, and schedules of all those around you – children, partners, parents, family, friends…

No wonder we have barely held on.

I am here to tell you.. if you’ve managed to get to Christmas by the skin of your teeth… it’s ok.

This is your journey, remember. Be easy on yourself.

Look after yourself this holiday season. Be kind to others, but most importantly yourself.

You are here. You have survived. That is more than enough.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. 🎄🎅💖💪