It’s an exciting time when you fall in love. More so, when your man pops the question – there is joy, elation, satisfaction, deep fulfillment and often, a yearn to keep and want everything to be as easy and pleasant as that stage, forever until the end of time.
Keeping things smooth sailing however, sometimes results in us forgetting about ourselves.
Forgetting where we came from.
We try so hard to please, make the family happy, make the relatives happy, live and act the picture of a perfect couple, play the part and smile and laugh… that we often forget, about ourselves.
It is not a conscious thing. Our self-ignorance is unintentional, as we throw ourselves whole-heartedly into the man, the life, the family that we wish to spend the rest of our lives in. We are so consumed with love and passion, that all else falls behind. All thoughts and desires, goals and dreams and big-thinking falls to the wayside as we embark on an exciting new chapter.
We focus so much on this new part of our lives, on our union with this amazing partner… that we forget about the individual who got there. The individual who has been left behind.
To my younger self, and to my daughter who will someday read this… and to any other girl out there, beginning to embark on such a romance.
Don’t forget yourself.
Girl, don’t forget – A POEM.
Girl, as you fall in love, don’t forget
The things that made you laugh, and what lifted you when you were sad.
Girl, as he holds you hand, don’t forget
Your parents who held it before, and who lifted you when you would fall.
Girl, as he kisses you sweetly, don’t forget
The lips that touched your head, to mend bruises, to maintain your even breath.
Girl, as he bends on one knee, don’t forget
You are more than a man, a union, a wedding that will consume all of your days.
Girl, as you plan your big day, don’t forget
Your parents are happy for you, but struggling to let go.
Girl, as you practice writing your new surname, don’t forget
Where you came from, and how far your maiden name travelled to get to you.
Girl, as you get married, don’t forget
Those who cheered you on are still with you, even though you are blind in your happiness.
Girl, when the day is done, don’t forget
To look back on the photos, and observe the smiling faces in the background.
Girl, as you go about your life, don’t forget
There is more to your day than pleasing those around you.
Girl, as you argue with you husband, don’t forget
That your parents yelled at each other too.
Girl, as you say yes to yet another request, don’t forget
What set your stubborn 16 year-old self on fire.
Girl, as you remember what you used to love, don’t forget
That no one told you to stop loving after all.
And girl, when you get to that day, when you realise you DID forget…
It is not too late to start again.
And girl, when you tell your husband what you love, please don’t forget…
That you are your own person, and will do it anyway.
~ Smik G.
Photo by Jennifer Regnier on Unsplash