Girl, don’t forget

It’s an exciting time when you fall in love. More so, when your man pops the question – there is joy, elation, satisfaction, deep fulfillment and often, a yearn to keep and want everything to be as easy and pleasant as that stage, forever until the end of time.

Keeping things smooth sailing however, sometimes results in us forgetting about ourselves.

Forgetting where we came from.

We try so hard to please, make the family happy, make the relatives happy, live and act the picture of a perfect couple, play the part and smile and laugh… that we often forget, about ourselves. 

Our wants.

Our needs.

It is not a conscious thing. Our self-ignorance is unintentional, as we throw ourselves whole-heartedly into the man, the life, the family that we wish to spend the rest of our lives in. We are so consumed with love and passion, that all else falls behind. All thoughts and desires, goals and dreams and big-thinking falls to the wayside as we embark on an exciting new chapter.

We focus so much on this new part of our lives, on our union with this amazing partner… that we forget about the individual who got there. The individual who has been left behind.

Ourselves.

To my younger self, and to my daughter who will someday read this… and to any other girl out there, beginning to embark on such a romance.

Remember.

Don’t forget yourself.

 

Girl, don’t forget – A POEM.

Girl, as you fall in love, don’t forget

The things that made you laugh, and what lifted you when you were sad.

Girl, as he holds you hand, don’t forget

Your parents who held it before, and who lifted you when you would fall.

 

Girl, as he kisses you sweetly, don’t forget

The lips that touched your head, to mend bruises, to maintain your even breath.

Girl, as he bends on one knee, don’t forget

You are more than a man, a union, a wedding that will consume all of your days.

 

Girl, as you plan your big day, don’t forget

Your parents are happy for you, but struggling to let go.

Girl, as you practice writing your new surname, don’t forget

Where you came from, and how far your maiden name travelled to get to you.

 

Girl, as you get married, don’t forget

Those who cheered you on are still with you, even though you are blind in your happiness.

Girl, when the day is done, don’t forget

To look back on the photos, and observe the smiling faces in the background.

 

Girl, as you go about your life, don’t forget

There is more to your day than pleasing those around you.

Girl, as you argue with you husband, don’t forget

That your parents yelled at each other too.

 

Girl, as you say yes to yet another request, don’t forget

What set your stubborn 16 year-old self on fire.

Girl, as you remember what you used to love, don’t forget

That no one told you to stop loving after all.

 

And girl, when you get to that day, when you realise you DID forget…

It is not too late to start again.

And girl, when you tell your husband what you love, please don’t forget…

That you are your own person, and will do it anyway.

    ~ Smik G.

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Photo by Jennifer Regnier on Unsplash

 

 

 

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Baby girl says the darndest things #3

I find it fascinating watching baby girl grow. To learn, to develop, and most of all to see what comes out of her mouth.

It is a popcorn-worthy show ALL on its own.

Like tonight for instance. I was drying her hair after her bath, and the topic somehow moved to work and money. Serious stuff for a 5 year-old, so my ears perked up when she made the observation –

“Mummy, you don’t have to work tomorrow, because you have enough money.”

?? Well I’ll be damned. So, I had a choice in whether I could go or not based on my account? So I asked –

“What about Tato? Why is he working? Does he not have enough money?”

“Nope.”

LOL. But that wasn’t even all of it. I thought we were done with the topic until I tucked her in and kissed her goodnight. She randomly popped up with –

“Mummy, you don’t have to work, you have a credit card!”

OH MAN!

She shrugged her shoulders and smiled, like it was the simplest and most obvious of solutions to keep Mum home with her forever.

I sat on the bed, and proceeded to tell her in kid-terms, that using credit cards was actually not the best idea, and better reserved for emergencies.

But, can you imagine that for a moment? If that was the case, NO ONE WOULD WORK!

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Photo by Rebelsaurus (Katie Harp) on Unsplash

 

 

Musings on a grey day

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Why do we feel like we must do it all? Why do we try to do the things others do, when we can just do what we do best, and leave the others to themselves?

Why can’t you just let me do what I do, and you do what you do? Let’s both do what we both do best, for ourselves.

 

An open invitation that has an expiry date. They do exist. You think that you are always welcome, but there will be a time and a place where that line will be crossed… and when it does, the relationship will shift, it will change, and suddenly, you won’t feel so special anymore.

I get it. We screwed up. We know the line that didn’t exist before, actually DOES.

 

How strong can a relationship be, when the slightest of slights, can affect the main tree? What does it say of others, and ourselves, when we let these things get in the way of something true, something good, something real?

I am sorry.

 

Does distance really matter? Why must it be so hard to catch up? Why are there always excuses? You go to the ends of the earth for some, and others, will give you their slated, default response, and you must accept it.

Accepting it, hurts. Because you know there was a time, when they would have flown with their own non-existent wings to see you.

Why are you not here?