Twisted Lyrics #4

Beyoncé, Baby Boy.

This is going to make you LOL, ROFL, and DUOASYTSS. (You don’t know DUOASYTSS? Double Up Over And Slap Your Thighs, Screaming Seriously?)

So the song with Sean Paul, yeah? You’re probably thinking I have no clue what the mumbler is singing in between Beyoncé’s spiralling lyrics? Yeah wrong. It’s Mrs Carter’s lyrics I’ve been screwing up for all these years, and I didn’t even realise until earlier today when I sang it on the drive home. For hilarity and suspense’s sake, let me give you the proper version first:

“Baby boy you stay on my mind
Baby boy you are so damn fine
Baby boy won’t you be mine
Baby boy let’s, conceive an angel.”

That, I reiterate, is the correct version. Now let me take you to my head:

“Baby boy you stay on my mind (good)
Baby boy you are so damn fine (better!)
Baby boy won’t you be mine (yes I’ve got this!)
Baby boy let’s, consider getting dinner.”

Seriously? That’s what Beyoncé is going to sing about in her song? Getting dinner?

Not only is she asking men to have dinner with her, but she is first ‘considering’ them to have dinner with. Hmmm…

My over-analytical head.

I’ll go now and let you DUOASYTSS…

 

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Twisted Lyrics #3

I first loved them with their classic 80s rock ballad, ‘Is This Love?’

Then I loved them more when I got right into the 80s rock, very, very late into the naughties. (“We’re not gonna take it! No, we ain’t gonna take it!”/”She’s only 17″/”I see my Maryanne walking away, awaaaayyyyy….”)

And so I thought Whitesnake were being all political and pushing gender issues when I sang along with them –

“Here I go again on my own” (guitar riff)

“Going down the only road I’ve ever known” (guitar riff)

“Like a sister I was meant to walk alone.”

Ahem, yep, a sister, walking alone. Sure, all-male 80s rock bands loved pushing the problem of the female equality gap.

Wrong.

“Here I go again on my own” (guitar riff)

“Going down the only road I’ve ever known” (guitar riff)

“Like a drifter I was meant to walk alone.”

Huh. Of course, drifters walked alone.

‘Here I go again on my own’ (guitar riff)

‘Imparting basic songs with meaning – like a drone.’

GUITAR RIFF.

Twisted Lyrics #2

Let’s get into some John Legend people! Come on, let’s sing ‘All Of Me’ together:

“What would I do without –

???

???

???

“- your small love.”

‘What would I do without your small love.’ This opening line baffled me for months and months. I thought it was some kind of metaphor. It’s a small love, yet a great love, something like that. Only once actually letting myself listen to the song and not inserting the words I thought I could hear, did I realize one day driving home from work:

“What would I do without your smart mouth.”

Ahhhh. John Legend you cheeky devil. Now that makes sense. Not only are you having a sly dig at your model missus, but you’ve done so so stealthily in a love song, so that she can’t even argue about it… the song is dedicated to her after all.

Honest. Direct. Hi Five Borat-style John Legend, you smart mouth.

Twisted Lyrics! Backstory and #1

So, so many years ago now, I came across a hilarious site. I have no idea the name of it, or even where I could find it now, but it was devoted to the hilarious mis-hearing of song lyrics. I fell in love with the concept, when I read one user mention their version of George Michael’s Careless Whisper – sing with me now:

(following “I’m never gonna dance again”)

“I must admit I have no rhythm!”

LOL ’til the cows come home. The real lyric is:

“Guilty feet have got no rhythm.”

(tee hee hee)

This is the inspiration behind a new series I wanna begin called

Twisted Lyrics!

Of course I’ll start. And of course it’ll be a kiddie-themed song that has been doing my head in for weeks now.

Any Aussies will know of a little intsy-bintsy-teeny-tiny group called The Wiggles? Maybe some international readers will have heard of this Yellow/Blue/Purple/Red coloured group as well?!

They have a TV show. Called Ready Steady Wiggles. And in the theme song (which only plays in our household about 28 times per day) I thought they sang

“Ready, Steady, Wiggles! With Emma on the side and Anthony too.”

Now, there is an Emma Wiggle. Yellow uniform she wears. So that makes sense. There is also an Anthony Wiggle, who dons blue chaps. The rest of the song mentions that you can jump like a kangaroo, and the names of their friends “Dorothy, Wags and Henry too” (dinosaur, dog and octopus) “and Captain Feathersword woo hoo!”

So where were the mentions of the other Wiggles – purple Lachy and Red Simon? Why weren’t they in the song?

I have seriously been scratching my head for weeks. I was certain that no where else in the song, they were mentioned. And sure enough, I heard it again and again

“With Emma on the side and Anthony too.”

The visual even showed Emma pop up, followed by Lachy, Simon and then Anthony on the other end of the screen. It didn’t make sense. Why would they omit the PURPLE and RED Wiggle, why damn it? (Mother’s woes).

And then I heard it. I somehow heard it differently just the other day. Were they singing acapella? Did I just hear it without making the words up in my head. I heard:

“Ready Steady Wiggle! With Emma Lachy Simon, and Anthony too.”

I had mistaken ‘Lachy Simon and’ for ‘on the side and.’

Face palm. Seriously?

So I thank The Wiggles for the inspiration to begin this series. There are so many more misheard song lyrics, I promise. Hopefully normal songs that normal folk will recognise too.

Interview-Emma-Watkins-Wiggles

(I totally did not take the above photo, baby girl wishes I had those contacts – so no, it’s not mine)