Geisha’s Gate

Watergate
31 Macrossan Street Port Douglas

When thinking of our dining experience here, I envision Sigourney Weaver from Gorillas in the Mist. No, no jungle animals here. But it was very breezy due to the high volume of fans blowing; it was still extremely humid despite this; it was dimly lit; and the large green leafy palms all around the restaurant just made me think Ms Weaver may in fact pop out at any second.

When we walked on over to Watergate on our second last night in Port Douglas, I realised the woman standing at the front of Macrossan Street was not in fact, promoting residential properties, as she was positioned in front of the nearby real estate agency. She was standing at the walkway to the poshy restaurant, and it was only pure chance that we got a table. She asked if we had a booking and when we said no, she said she had to go and check. Lo and behold, the man walking out of the restaurant had just gone in to cancel his reservation. Boy had we struck gold. In one regard.

We waited for 1 minute on the couches in the bar area while our table got ready. The water we were brought for the whole of that one minute was sweating profusely in our glasses by the time we got up to be seated, and I was starting to fear the dress I had chosen, worried I would be leaving sweat patches when I got up.

Yep. We were getting used to the all-encompassing heat that was so prevalent up in that part of the hemisphere.

This place had more of an exclusive feel than the prior night’s Bel Cibo. Though both were of a fine dining experience, Bel Cibo was more visible sitting high up on Macrossan Street, and seemed more open and accessible… the fact that Watergate was down a walkway off the main strip, with most of its dining areas hidden from view, and the mysterious fire lanterns glowing through the night, gave it an air of intrigue and mystery. Like I said, gorillas, mist.

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The restaurant was split levelled, and as you walked down into its shallow depths you went down a few steps at this section, and down a few steps at that section. We were seated in ‘that’ section, the base, with fans on the ceiling and electric ones nearby blowing full-on straight into our faces.

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There were candles on the tables and some torches about, with absolutely no other lighting, which made taking food photos EXTREMELY difficult. I preface this before I present to you a photo of the Crown Hubbie had, and my Geisha Girl cocktail – crushed fresh strawberries & vanilla bean with vodka, wild strawberry liqueur and guava

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My drink was, divine.

At the beginning of our being seated baby girl was given a pencil case and the kids menu to drawn on, which listed the meals available to her as well as a little side puzzle. On top of that, once again we were at a paper-clothed covered table establishment, so she COULD draw on the table to keep her occupied and happy… but happy was not something available to her that night. No-siree. She had had very little sleep that day as we had been sight-seeing around extensively, and her grumpiness and unwillingness to stay seated was just the beginning of what was to be a very frustrating night.

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Her meal had fortunately arrived earlier than ours as requested:

Chicken pieces with chips, tomato sauce and broccolini

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She had had the option of vegies, or salad with her meal, but we opted for the broccolini. It’s mighty brave of these restaurants to be serving broccoli-like vegies to littlies – not that I contest, I think it’s great, and baby girl does eat it. It makes it great too in that she isn’t just eating chicken nuggets with chips every night, like what most restaurants offer up in their kids menu.

These were grilled chicken tenderloins, and both looked and tasted a lot better than the chicken we had had at Bel Cibo the previous night. Baby girl also seemed somewhat satisfied in the 0.5 seconds we managed to keep her in her chair and eating. At all other times she was standing up in her high chair, wanting to walk around the restaurant, sit on my lap, as well as stand on it too, and just do anything BUT sit quietly and nicely in her chair and eat. Of course. She’s 2. That’s her job, right? To never sit still.

She did occasionally give a shy smile at a nearby older American couple who were near us, who we had a brief conversation with over the whir of the fans whizzing. And even though the couple were really very sweet, I think the lady waving to baby girl eventually made her anxious and scared, for some reason I don’t know since she is always so friendly, but because it was only after they had left that she sat back in her high chair, and let me continue my meal.

This is what I got:

The Prawn Linguine – local tiger prawns tossed with olive oil, spanish onion, chilli, confit garlic, fresh herbs and shaved pecorino

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While Hubbie got the Pork cutlet: speck-crusted pork cutlet served with a jalapeno & smoked cheddar potato crush, seasonal greens and a port wine jus

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Once again I got like, 5 prawns, only this time it was on a heartier meal base of lotsa-linguine. These prawns were much chunkier and juicier than Bel Cibo’s, but because of their size I felt that they needed perhaps a tad more cooking, for my taste anyway. For this reason, I probably preferred Bel Cibo’s ones, but cooking-time with anything, especially seafood, is pure chance anyway. They also had a seafood taste, complimented well with the strong chilli and garlic flavours in the pasta. This was no half-arsed chilli dish, like what I have been disappointed with so much in the past, and future as well, with the chilli-pasta meals I’ve had following this experience at the time of writing. This was hardcore, this had kick and power to it, made more so when I sipped my cocktail and got a massive spicy blast in my mouth. I liked it, it just made me sweat a bit more, something I needed that night (sarcasm).

Hubbie got his pork cutlet and enjoyed it immensely, he was very pleased.

As much as we had enjoyed the food, we unfortunately hadn’t enjoyed the experience with our cranky girl – it wasn’t her fault, she was tired. It just meant that we paid a lot of money for great food without really enjoying the night together. In fact it had slightly scarred us, as we vowed we would not go out to dinner the next night, our last night there. We would get takeaway noodles instead. And since we left right after scoffing our mains, it left me yearning for more, as I was almost positive that dessert there would have been simply magic. Oh well. Leaves room for growth and anticipation I guess.

Food: 9/10. The food was of high quality, and yet for the price you paid you actually got a decent amount, not an entrée size.

Coffee: N/A very unfortunately. That’s alright, more for next time…

Ambience: Breezy with the 1000 fans. Dim-lit, a little annoying if you’re like me and a) take food photos and b) like to dissect every bite of your food. Lucky for them, other than the prawn tails there was nothing else to check through a magnifying glass. It’s very romantic if you’re with your other half, and don’t mind the feel of wind in your face as if you’re Rose standing at the bow of the Titanic, Jack holding her so she doesn’t fall off, type thing.

Chilled, yet still of a decent volume what with the diners and fans fighting for volume dominance.

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People: Poshy. Here are the ones that come out to seriously ‘play’ in Port Douglas. They seemed much more affluent here than in any other restaurant we saw. However still friendly, as was evidenced by our friendly American neighbouring table. But the man who looked over at us and passed back the pencil that baby girl had flung in her tired and sweaty state, was not so. He was part of a big group for a birthday, and there were actually quite a few groups there that night.

Staff: Very, very nice. Our main waitress was quite understanding of baby girl’s demeanour, telling us of her own child, and was kind enough to just be cool throughout our sleep-deprived-baby issues. All staff were exceptional and very professional, though here they all seemed much friendlier than at Bel Cibo’s.

Price: At a total of $116 for the lot, which roughly consisted of the same as what we had had the night before – 3 alcoholic drinks, 2 mains and a kids meal, this place was in front. We didn’t need a side dish like we’d had at Cibo’s, but with the heartiness of the meals we didn’t need it. Definitely worth the coin.

Advice: Book ahead! We chanced it and got exceptionally lucky. Get the geisha (or two or three), and enjoy a night in the jungle.

In a nutshell: We really loved this place, and comparing it to the only other fine-dining place we experienced in Port Douglas, this had better food, better value for money, better service, and I guess the surroundings, well that’s personal. I liked these surroundings, and it was much bigger and had more seating than Cibo’s did. Both restaurants were great, don’t get me wrong. But on my return to Port Douglas, Watergate’s prawn linguine and dessert with a shot of coffee will be on my agenda, somewhere on par with jumping into the crystal clear waters of 4 Mile beach and taking an unauthorised dip in the swimming lagoon at Mossman Gorge.

Ensuring baby girl is well-slept, of course.

 

Watergate Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

When you are a writer…

and you’ve been sitting at your computer for a while, and inspiration is lacking in your head, and your fingers don’t hit at the keypad properly, words like remainding suddenly appear to be gramattically correct, until the red line appears under remainding, and you highlight it and you go ‘oh that’s right, it’s remaining.’ And then you question whether it’s two ts, or ms or ls in gramattically, and which is meant to go where, and you refuse to put the comma between the t and s even though the spellcheck is going bezerk, but you tell the spellcheck that it’s not a possessive its a plural so suck that, then you ask yourself ‘how does one spell bezerk?’ And begin a google chase over its origins and find out it is actually a word in the dictionary and is spelt berserk, and does not have a z making it all rap/hipster. Then you wonder why you even thought it was urban, the term berserk, and remember that urban dictionary website that you once checked out telling you about all the street lingo, and discover the term ‘procaffenating’ which pretty much means “But first, coffee” but less poshy. Then you realise the computer has gone all red line on you again, and instead of writing your novel you have been googling and procrastinating with terms like procaffenating and have just come upon the term ‘jeanjerking,’ and seriously now it is time to go.

Read and cafe-away

Whileaway Bookshop & Café
2/43 Macrossan Street Port Douglas

So by this stage you can tell we’re living on Macrossan Street, yeah?

I finally had a chance to get to this union of café and bookstore on day 3 of our Port Douglas getaway, on a Monday afternoon. It was stinking hot and humid (nothing unusual in those parts) and the interior provided a chance to sit and unwind for a bit while I got excited about all the book purchase possibilities around me.

I had seen this place on Zomato before we holidayed our way over, and boy was I in anticipation of it. My dream would be to open a café/bookstore, so this for me was a special type of paradise (following the one we had visited earlier that day – swimming lagoon in Mossman Gorge. OMG. Stay tuned for an upcoming Port Douglas attractions post).

We promptly ordered up the back of the shop. It was all connected, but Whileaway is set up as if there are two sides to the store, with the café towards the back on the left behind all the seating, and the primary load of books was in the right of the store. Of course there was also seating on the right, not as much, and there were books upon entry as well near the majority of tables and chairs. There were books EVERYWHERE. You couldn’t escape (tee hee hee).

We ordered coffees, and some food.

A Cheddar Cheese and Onion Muffin

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Chocolate Macadamia Tart

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Mossman Pineapple and Banana Cake (considering Mossman Gorge had just blown my mind I had to indulge in a dessert of the same name)

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And a cappuccino, latte and babycino.

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The cheddar cheese and onion muffin was warmed up and quite tasty, a very big serve too to keep you satiated for a long time. Woe is me, I had to eat most of it since baby girl wanted none, deciding to overdose on the Pineapple and Banana Cake. That too was delicious and sweet, a mild flavour. The Tart was ok, and the coffees were strong. At first my cap had a different, unusual taste, and the caffeine hit me in my sweaty state… but then as I drank on I must have gotten used to the taste and it was ok. Probably not my preferred cup of coffee, even Hubbie agreed with his latte.

Where we were sitting was next to the children’s books and a children’s table play area, however despite the scene we still had to watch baby girl didn’t drop or damage anything. Yes, we were in the kids section, but it was that kind of shop – the look, don’t touch one. Which is difficult when you have a child and they can see trains and caterpillars and all the things they know and love, but is of a dearer and more exclusive value. There was a lady nearby sorting books who was onto baby girl, and when Hubbie said “baby girl don’t touch, the lady will get upset,” she was quite particular: “no I won’t there are just things that can break there.” Very choice with her words. I like it. Of course, she works in a book store right? (And I suspect she was a manager/owner).

I didn’t purchase anything of the reading variety during that visit, as baby girl was getting grumpy, and honestly I couldn’t even find something to buy as I was generally perusing. Not that there weren’t books aplenty, but I wanted to get something special, something different, something to remind me of our Port Douglas holiday.

We managed a quick stop over literally an hour before hitting the road for the airport days later. And after looking, and looking, and scratching my head, and sighing, to baby girl grabbing things and Hubbie following her around irritatedly, I finally settled on this:

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The blurb at the back of the book intrigued me:

“We don’t want to tell you what happens in this book.

It is a truly special story and we don’t want to spoil it.

Nevertheless, you need to know enough to buy it, so we will just say this:”

And then it continued with a brief description, which luckily further intrigued me. I won’t be reading it for a while but watch my book review space for when it does come up.

And the little plus with my purchase? My new Whileaway bookstore bookmark. Cute 🙂

Food: 7/10. Consisted of mostly savouries and sweet treats.

Coffee: 6/10. It didn’t really leave us yearning for another cuppa, but it did the trick. Strong.

Ambience: Think library! It was fairly quiet and chilled as you would expect a reading area to be.

People: There weren’t many that hot Monday arvo, but there was the solo wanderer and coffee enthusiast coming in, no rowdy groups here. There was another Mum who ventured in with her daughter, who was also trying somewhat successfully to keep her daughters hands from the pretty play things about.

Staff: Pleasant. Both women behind the coffee machine were friendly, and the studious book manager-type was… serious. About books.

Price: Reasonable, $20+ for what we had.

Advice: Come without your child. I know there is a children’s area there, but unless your child listens to every word you say and obeys every instruction given, or unless they are of an age to sit on the kids table there and just draw, perhaps best to leave them with Hubbie in the communal pool of your accommodation and come alone for an afternoon of exciting solitude and books.

In a nutshell: I would definitely love to come back on our hopefully one-day-not-too-far-away return to Port Douglas. The terrific book surrounds and cosy atmosphere is an ideal area to indulge in while having a coffee, however I do hope that the taste of the bean improves…

Coffee, and books? What a terrific way to Whileaway your afternoon.

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Whileaway BookShop & Cafe Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Sightings of People as Passionate about (Addicted to) Coffee as I am (SOPAPACAIA) #7

SOPAPACAIA Sighting #7

Highpoint Shopping Centre

Hubbie and I

Another self-sighting, I know, I know. But SOPAPACAIA was the first word that sprang to mind when we first had coffees and pastries at Cacao yesterday, only to walk down to Jasper’s a mere minute away and order some more.

What?

Hubbie’s latte at Cacao had too much texturised foamy milk, and not enough coffee! And after having an apricot Danish, I just felt my unsatisfied deep desire for a doughnut intensified…

First world problems, I know.

So at Jasper’s Hubbie got his proper latte in a clear glass (Cacao had put theirs in a cute mug – tsk tsk tsk), while I got this strawberry bomb-doughnut type thingy…

I sipped from his latte, he pecked from my doughnut, and baby girl got mouthfuls of more sweet stuff.

And we walked away in a high sugary-induced state.

 

 

Things that shit me… #10

Salespeople that put you last because you are with child.

This is very specific, yet unfortunately has happened to me many times. I don’t know if it’s because they see me trying to wrangle a two-and-a-half year-old and think ‘too much work,’ or whether they think I’m not done yet because I’m talking to her more than I am to them, behind the counter. Either way, if I am standing at the counter, or have just asked for your help, chances are I want the help NOW, in fact, rather immediately as if your life depended on it, because that adorable girl you see besides me who is currently drawing on the pad meant for scrawls, well she can go from that to drawing on your walls in 3 seconds if you test her patience.

Today, I had to buy something at Typo. Yes I will name and shame. I love the stationary store; I hated the service today. HATED. I asked if I could get a pencil sharpened in a set I was purchasing, because it was a gift, and really I didn’t want 11 out of the 12 pencils I purchased nice and pointy with the last one non-existent.

The salesgirl who I had been speaking to, and had been helpful up until that point, said she would sharpen it for me. Then all of a sudden a woman entered and started a long discussion over something she wanted to exchange.

If anything, assisting this lady took far longer than it would have taken to sharpen the damn pencil and put my sale through. I watched as the salesgirl even went to the lengths of making a phone call regarding this exchange, while I watched on the sidelines, and another customer wanting to make a purchase entered the scene. Though peeved, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she thought I was still shopping? When I turned and started talking to baby girl (about where she could draw without damaging their stock) she may have thought I was still deciding what to buy.

But then, as she finished up with exchange lady, she had the gall to turn her head from me and the new customer, and ask with a smile “who was next?”

I responded tensely “I was waiting for you to sharpen that pencil.” Frustrated, I turned to baby girl… and when I looked back, salesgirl was serving the new customer! I would have walked out without question, if they didn’t have exactly what I was after. I waited, paid for my items, gave her a flat tone, and left.

I have worked with customers in a sales position before, and unless the customer says “they can go before me,” or “I’ll take awhile, you go first,” you DO NOT PUT ANOTHER customer who has not waited as long, in front! And my sale didn’t even take that long. This stupid girl just smiled daftly like she was doing nothing wrong! Ahh!

I think the fact that I seem like ‘a lot of work’ with baby girl, trolley and bags in tow, makes certain unknowing sales people think I am… when I’m far from it. I’m more organised and quicker to get out of there than someone without kids, and yet I’m discriminated against because I’m talking non-stop to an over-eager child.

That FREAKING shits me.

Twisted Lyrics #4

Beyoncé, Baby Boy.

This is going to make you LOL, ROFL, and DUOASYTSS. (You don’t know DUOASYTSS? Double Up Over And Slap Your Thighs, Screaming Seriously?)

So the song with Sean Paul, yeah? You’re probably thinking I have no clue what the mumbler is singing in between Beyoncé’s spiralling lyrics? Yeah wrong. It’s Mrs Carter’s lyrics I’ve been screwing up for all these years, and I didn’t even realise until earlier today when I sang it on the drive home. For hilarity and suspense’s sake, let me give you the proper version first:

“Baby boy you stay on my mind
Baby boy you are so damn fine
Baby boy won’t you be mine
Baby boy let’s, conceive an angel.”

That, I reiterate, is the correct version. Now let me take you to my head:

“Baby boy you stay on my mind (good)
Baby boy you are so damn fine (better!)
Baby boy won’t you be mine (yes I’ve got this!)
Baby boy let’s, consider getting dinner.”

Seriously? That’s what Beyoncé is going to sing about in her song? Getting dinner?

Not only is she asking men to have dinner with her, but she is first ‘considering’ them to have dinner with. Hmmm…

My over-analytical head.

I’ll go now and let you DUOASYTSS…

 

My Path of Gratitude

For anyone that hasn’t noticed, I have a new blog, titled

carcrashgratitude

a journey of gratitude, inspired by a car crash

That’s my log line, and I’m hoping to stick to my plan on one new post of gratitude per day, not recycling any previous ideas, and continuing for the rest of my life.

It’s a big task.

For more backstory on how this started, check out my

How this all started, here:

Whether it helps, inspires, or makes you think I’m insane, I’m glad you stopped by.

(My smikg.com blog will continue on, I just like taking on more writing tasks, because that is my life, and I’m not busy enough as it is – total lie)

 

‘Bel’ Prawns

Bel Cibo
30 Macrossan Street Port Douglas

Since this restaurant had been booked out on night one of our Port Douglas getaway, Hubbie had booked us a table the following day for that Sunday night. It was not only conveniently placed near our accommodation, but it had elevated views of Macrossan street with a distinctly poshy vibe. We had been walking by the restaurant for two days now, looking into the kitchen and watching the all-white uniformed chefs do their thing. Soon they would be cooking for us.

On our arrival to Bel Cibo that night we were promptly seated and menus were brought to us immediately. And so it continued: the service was always there, with wait staff constantly checking in on us, whether it was to top up our drinks, get our food, or see if everything was ok. This was great, and the only reason I was peeved was that it made it a tad difficult for me to discreetly take photos. Not a bad thing to say: ‘we were waited on too much!’

Once again fans were in abundance overhead, however tonight this was in stark comparison to that of Rattle ‘n’ Hum the night before. With the overhead views of Macrossan Street, the sounds of International accents coming from both customers and wait staff all around, and the paper-covered linen tables that immediately characterised what kind of restaurant it was, I knew this was going to be a fine-dining experience. Add to that the humidity, and the increasing bird calls coming from one particular end of the main street from an enormous tree, and it felt like we were on an exclusive jungle safari somewhere in Africa.

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Baby girl was brought pencils straight away which she doodled with on the paper tablecloth, keeping her slightly occupied.

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Since we had arrived pre-7pm, our meals came quite quickly after that.

Our drinks of French Martini and a Crown

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My Seared King Prawns with crushed chat potatoes / broccolini / dill / lemon and garlic sauce

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Hubbie’s Roast Chicken Fillets with tomato / parmesan polenta / garlic field mushrooms / salsa verde

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To share, some Broccolini with garlic /lemon / evo oil / pistachio

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And baby girl’s Chicken strips and chips

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I really loved my meal. The prawns were cooked beautifully, with the light lemon-y sauce surrounding it complimenting it well. The addition of potatoes and broccolini were definitely needed for this carb-loving girl, and even though I was content on completion of my meal, it was still one of those meals at those posh places, where the quality of the food is high and tasty, yet the quantity of what you get on your plate is not in abundance. Nevertheless I really enjoyed my (approximately 5) prawns, they had a bit of a seafood taste too which Hubbie didn’t like, but all the better I thought, more for me 😉 They were very flavoursome and I enjoyed every bite, wishing there was more. The presentation was also of a high calibre.

Hubbie thought his meal components were perfectly matched and on the ball – chicken, polenta, mushrooms and salsa. He loved his meal too and enjoyed every bite.

We were however a bit undecided as to what to think about his chicken, and in particular baby girl’s chicken strips. It was brown and stringy, not white the way chicken usually looks. Hubbie first thought they had given her a cheaper cut of chicken from an ‘unfavoured’ side of the chicken – this pissed us off because hey, just because she’s a child and she has a cheaper meal doesn’t mean she should get a cheaper cut… then he considered the fact that perhaps it was in fact organic, unbleached chicken, since most chickens are apparently bleached white to get their pristine colour. After telling me that, I was so glad I was eating prawns. The fact that his chicken too was also on the brown side, told us that perhaps all their chicken was like that. But if it were organic, surely it couldn’t be stringy too? When I tried hers, I realised why she wasn’t keen on eating it at all. It was only that confusing factor that left us wondering why everything bar the chicken was of such high quality.

The broccolini was a nice side addition, and the combination of garlic, lemon and pistachios made it quite tasty and moorish.

As soon as we had eaten it was time to go: baby girl was keen to run around, and it was now ice cream time (there was definitely room in our stomachs for that).

Food: 8/10. Even with the undecided chicken verdict. Those prawns were the best I had in Port Douglas.

Coffee: N/A.

Ambience: A refined dining experience, and although there were many families around, these were the families with grown-up kids who had plenty of $$$ to splash. This was on the quieter, rather than rambunctious side.

People: As above, ‘developed’ families, couples, and there was at least one another family with a baby, I remember it well because the baby looked 2 days old and the woman’s partner just walked into the restaurant leaving her to carry 2 day-old baby in one arm and lug a pram up the stairs on her own with the other. Other than the latter, most people seemed a bit head-up-their-ass unable to smile, so just be aware that the people that usually smile at you, will be looking at your child instead with a ‘duh’ expression, their kids’ faces speaking boredom with ‘I hate this family holiday.’

Woe is you.

Staff: They were friendly, very professional, and attentive.

Price: $119.50 for the lot, which makes perfect sense for our dinner of 3 alcoholic drinks, (did I mention my French Martini was YUM!) 2 mains, a kids meal and a side, at that type of restaurant.

Advice: Book like you should with all restaurants at Port Douglas, unless of course dining pre-7pm. Sitting as close to the street gives you a great view, but then again all the outdoor covered dining area allows for fantastic views. And have the prawns.

In a nutshell: A fantastic restaurant that I believe was worth the money, given the quality of produce we encountered that night. It’s worth the fuss, and the booking ahead. Just be aware that it is a finer dining experience so some portions may need to be supplemented with sides. Finer dining can sometimes mean more boring, less adaptable clientele too. However, if you’re looking for some ‘great food,’ you’ll find it at this fine establishment.

Bel Cibo Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Mission Statement

‘Try writing your life’s mission statement in a single sentence.’

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This is what my daily calendar asked me over a month ago.

Later that day, I really thought about it, and though at first I thought it would be hard, in less than a minute I had my answer.

I did it by thinking of the things most important to me, the things I wanted to do in life, and my values.

  • I love writing.
  • I love travel and adventure.
  • I want to make the most of life.
  • I think all people should be living their purpose. There is enough of EVERYTHING for EVERYONE, not just a select few ‘lucky ones.’
  • I want to feel passionately and inspired by my day-to-day life, drawing inspiration from the world around me.

These points led me to this:

“To live life passionately with adventure; creatively with all writing endeavours and all means of expression; and to inspire others to find their own purpose and follow their heart.”

It’s somewhat limiting and also scary to see your life’s goal in a simple sentence like that. Of course, I believe more will come of it, and should come of it, as life mission statements should evolve as we also do…

So, what is YOUR life’s mission statement?

Rattle ‘n’ Rice

Rattle n’ Hum
38 Macrossan Street Port Douglas

Rattle ‘n’ Hum ended up being our second dinner option on our first night in Port Douglas.

We had arrived in upper, upper North Queensland. Tired. Hungry. Hot! The humidity was insane. We had already walked up and down part of Macrossan street, the street that was to be the place we practically lived on for the following nights we were there, and despite walking by the restaurant, and the large board out front advising of specials and kids meals, we still went back to the flashy Bel Cibo to see if we could be squeezed in.

Nope, they were booked out, and we weren’t in a waiting mood. We would have to come back to that one another night.

So off we went, to the pub-style, open-spaced Hum-mer. Fans pulsating above us, pool table in front of a bar on the left of the venue, pizza-making on the right at the front of the restaurant, with a ‘pick-up’ bench behind it and tables all in between. There was wood everywhere. It was like a big barn, a family bar.

We had been seated, but in amongst the hoo-ha of people arriving and you know, that thing called humidity bringing beads of sweat onto even the coolest of foreheads, we were forgotten and had to ask for menus. Dum da dum dum. The guy was great though, and explained what it was we had to do, which was order and pay for our meals at the ‘pick-up’ bench, and we would receive a buzzer alerting us when the food was ready for ‘pick-up.’

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We kind of groaned inwardly. Great. One of those places. We just wanted to be waited on hand and foot, having just travelled 3 hours by plane and then 1 hour of winding road followed by sudden tropical rain onslaught.

But we were hungry, so on we went.

The drinks were paid for at the bar, and brought back to the table by the payer – which was Hubbie in this case.

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I had a white wine, since I couldn’t fathom drinking my old fave red in this heat. With the ordering of baby girl’s meal, we also received a free drink, so Hubbie opted for an OJ that we all sipped on after our meals.

She had also received a little kids colouring set that included some crayons, and some pages of activity paper in a little paper box. That, along with her Santa water-drinking cup, all ended up on the floor at several times. She was still getting used to the change of atmosphere and was finding it ‘challenging,’ diplomatically speaking. However at other times, she did scribble on the paper, so I was fortunate for those minor blissful moments of peace.

Soon after we all received our meals. Mine was the Prawn Hot Pot

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Hubbie’s was the Flame Grilled Rib Fillet, atop mashed potato and a side of veg

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While baby girl’s was the Spaghetti Napoletana.

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My meal was very nice. I loved the combination of the prawns with the oil, capers, chilli and garlic, and it was so flavoursome that after I was finished I was still scooping the very hot dish to get out more delicious remnants of oily goodness… but there was one problem with that. You see, I had very, very, little rice.

Surprisingly, there were a lot of prawns. I was actually surprised how many prawns I received. I just kept fishing one out after another from the dish, and was constantly surprised when I discovered “more!” Which is why I was even more baffled as to why I wouldn’t have enough rice to accompany it. It’s usually the other way around, you get like 3 prawns, and a whole plate of carbs to compensate. If provided with the options I would much rather have it this way, more prawns over rice… but honestly, I would love heaps, of both. Especially in soaking up all those chilli/garlic bits at the end, extra rice would have come in such handy. Due to the extremely cheap nature of this grain, my only conclusion is to assume they came across a rice shortage that night. That cannot possibly be the normal serving for that dish.

I also received a side of ‘salad,’ which was more garnish, or visual accessory to pretty the plate, as it had no dressing, it was just thin pieces of carrot and cabbage.

Hubbie said he enjoyed his steak, but said the mash tasted like packet mashed potatoes. What?! Having not had the misfortune of having to endure such food torture, I can’t say I know from experience what that tastes like, but when I tried it did taste different… I’ll take his word.

And after baby girl’s experience, I now know never to order spaghetti for her again.

First things first, Hubbie had ordered napoletana for her. Yet her pasta, had meat in it. We had received spaghetti bolognaise, not the meat-free version. This wasn’t such a problem, we are fortunate that she is not vegetarian, and I hope for the sake of this food-lover she never will be. But at the end of the day, it was wrong.

Also, it was a bit bland. Just a standard sauce, not even much flavour to it. And as for the spaghetti, well it’s not their fault… but independent, toddler and spaghetti are words that should not be in a sentence together. Allowing a stubborn toddler to eat spaghetti on their own is just… hell. It’s just so wrong, so difficult and absurd on so many levels. Throw in an OCD Mum who rips out wet wipes faster than you can say ‘catch that dribble!’ and you have a high-intensity, stressed-out group of diners.

Hers was also accompanied with a big piece of toasted bread on the side, adding to the carb-fest even more.

Despite all this we ate what we had, and left as soon as we could. It had been a long day.

Food: 6/10. Think pub food.

Coffee: N/A on our visit, we didn’t need caffeine, we needed sleep…

Ambience: Bustling, busy, noisy. Like I said, think pub, and combine that with your casual family diner.

People: A mix of all, we were in a holiday spot after all. There were young families, mid-range established families, fathers with their on-the-verge-of-teenhood sons playing billiards, a mother and daughter having a quiet meal and watching baby girl run away from us and stand up in her high-chair, and your typical Aussie blokes cruising in to pick up pizza for takeaway.

Staff: They were busy, but were still nice. The door guy who had initially forgotten us was attentive when he realised we had nothing, the guy handing out meals was apparently “really relaxed” about the whole spectacle of it being Saturday night, and the others that tended to us were friendly.

Price: It was about $80 for the lot, the two drinks, and the three meals. I think, a tad much for the quality of what we received, but I get that when you’re in a holiday spot, the same rules don’t apply anymore Toto.

Advice: Saturday nights, peak holiday times, and post 7pm are times that are difficult to be seated no matter where you are in Port Douglas, unless you have booked. So if you don’t book, be prepared to get there earlier and avoid the rush time. They did appear to have ample seating though, so it may just be a case there of ‘be seated, but just wait a while for your food in the queue.’

In a nutshell: It was a very average bar, to be honest the kind that we tend to avoid, only because the food quality is never quite up to scratch. Despite this, had my rice been in more abundance, I would have walked away very content and surprised with the establishment. Instead, it leaves me in confidence of why we don’t go to these types of restaurants, as there is always something lacking, even though we still dish out a bit of coin.

I liked the surroundings, and I perhaps would even try a pizza there for lunch… the restaurant is not bad, it’s simply that we have eaten at so many great restaurants, that anything average is not worth giving a second shot. 10 years ago, we would have gone back without question. Times change. So solely based on our tastes, I don’t think we would have dinner there on our return to Port Douglas. No more humming for us.

Rattle 'n Hum Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato