If you feel or have experienced any of these things, I’m sorry to tell you…
- You spend your night thinking of where you will get your daily caffeine hit
- You wake up looking forward to your coffee
- You plan your day around coffee
- You will go that extra mile, despite crappy, windy, rainy, unfavourable weather, to get your favourite coffee, even if there is average-tasting coffee in half the distance
- You think you are some kind of coffee connoisseur, and turn your nose up if the coffee is passed to you abruptly/the barista doesn’t smile at you/your coffee order comes back with too much/not often froth/you don’t get a rock star’s welcome when you enter through the café doors…
- When the coffee run is up, no one ever forgets to ask you if you want to come… they know better than that.
- A day with no coffee, is just a sad, wasted day
- Any situation can be made better with the addition of coffee. It’s a perfectly acceptable, cheaper and WAY more helpful alternative to therapy.
- It’s not ” have you had coffee?” it’s “how many have you had today?”
- You experience caffeine headaches in the absence of it… and though a milder tea may make the ache go away, the presence of the headache is almost always due to your body’s dependence on ‘the bean.’
- You love your weekends even more, because it’s a greater excuse for more coffee
- A short black at 11pm on a Saturday night is not too late for a coffee
- A short black at 10pm on a weeknight, is not too late for a coffee
- Back when you never drank coffee, the occasional times you did it would keep you awake. Now, you can fall asleep harder than any husband can, and the caffeine in your system can not do a thing.
- When someone tells you they feel like crap, you respond with “have you had coffee?”
- Your children are babycino/hot chocolate snobs
- You have returned coffee for ‘not meeting standards.’
- You excitedly share favourite haunts with other fellow coffee addicts, and then take selfies with said coffee
- You review coffee in some kind of forum, and probably have a Zomato account
- You have a coffee machine at home, and devote maintenance to it more than any other home electrical device
- There is always 4 types of coffee in your home
- You take the first sip of your coffee, and then exhale audibly
- Coffee pics in various locations prevail in your phone’s gallery
- When people tell you they don’t drink coffee, you pat their arm in pity
- You have nodded yes to at least 20 of these!
…You, are definitely, a coffee addict.
That coffee has you wrapped around its tiny beans. You’re a goner.