Bicyclists.

Yes you bunch of mofos. In particular the bunch that ride around without a care in the world around my place of employment.

I was walking to my car after finishing my work shift the other day. I pressed the button so I could get a green man at the intersection I was at, however knowing those lights all too well, knew it’d be a couple of minutes ‘til that opportunity actually came. So I took out my mobile and perused aimlessly through facebook, scroll, scroll, scrolling along.

In that time another person came up next to me to wait to cross the road as well. I knew the green man was coming, and sure enough within moments I had the familiar ‘ticker ticker ticker’ signalling that yes, he was flashing, we could walk across the road… safely. As one would normally assume.

I hate those annoying people who walk stupidly with their faces in their mobiles/musical devices, so as the ticker started I put my phone at my side and lifted my head, proceeding to now cross the said-before, apparently SAFE road.

As I stepped onto the road, taking one, then two steps, suddenly a bicyclist, careening down the road, jutted onto the pedestrian path out of nowhere, forcing me to stop and sidestep him rather abruptly, almost forcing me off balance. This bicyclist didn’t seem to notice, or had chosen to ignore, that from his end, he had a red light, which is why I was allowed to cross the road. No, he just thought he’d cruise on through, past all the stationary cars beside him, and go on to ride through the pedestrian path and bash into any unsuspecting pedestrians waiting to cross the road when it was their turn, and not his.

And then, as I sidestepped him and he kind of, paused, I noticed with real irritation as I looked back to give him a greasy, that he had kept going! He had ridden through the pedestrian path, ignoring the red light, and just kept going. He hadn’t even acknowledged me or looked apologetic, not to mention the thought of actually opening his mouth and muttering a half-sincere ‘sorry.’ Nothing!

I was so peeved. See, if a car had ignored their red light and travelled forward and almost hit a bicyclist due to the driver’s stupidity, well you can bet a fat kid’s smartie that that bicyclist would have let the driver know about it, doing the whole ‘knock on the car’ thing and talking into the window with a “watch what you’re doing!”

Oh yes. But when a pedestrian is at risk of being bowled over by a bicyclist. It’s ok. It’s not too bad. The force isn’t as great.

It’s the freaking moral you loser bicyclists! Ahhhhh! I’m so pissed off at them right now!

And it’s the other ones too. Like when I’m waiting at a light, wanting to get to work, and standing safely away and not on the actual bicycle path, and the dickheads ride past me at full speed, whizzing by so close they graze the hairs on my arm.

Those bicyclists too, shit me, so BAD. They ride so close because they wanna ride on that smooth part of their path, the path that doesn’t make their bikes rattle.

Well you know what you asses? I wanna stand there and not have the fear of unnecessary lint forming on my clothes due to the excessive wind forced upon me by bicyclists pretending it’s ok to ride by me and touch my clothing/bag/arm hairs.

Seriously you guys. Just be decent, and stop calling the kettle black when it comes to drivers. You’re just as bad.