I call myself a glass half-full gal.
Lately though, I haven’t really been feeling it.
Sure I run a whole gratitude blog where I post daily items of gratitude…
But I’m feeling like a bit of a fake.
Because I realised some time ago, that I wasn’t really feeling the whole ‘new year new decade new me’ business.
I wasn’t excited.
I wasn’t happy
I wasn’t even hopeful.
That realisation stunned me. Hope is one of those vital things I hold onto, the thing that keeps me going amidst troubling times and difficult days.
And don’t get me wrong, I’m not depressed or anything. I just think I’ve hoped for things before and been disappointed time and time again… and with my life in a current state of limbo…
Well, how could I be hopeful, when I didn’t know what to hope for? What to expect?
Why would I hope for anything when firstly I didn’t know what to hope for, and secondly I didn’t want to be bitterly disappointed?
I was saddened by this fact. How could I, the glass half-full gratitude girl, have fallen off the appreciation train, and wasn’t even looking forward to 2020?
So I set up a little project. Away from the public eyes of the world wide web, I started to do my own brand of gratitude, counting things to make me happy… in the privacy of my home.
Just for me, myself and I.
Call it a meditation. I lie down in bed at night and form an inventory of the day that has passed… and in my counting I find, things that I don’t tell anyone about, but things that I’m grateful for.
I’ve been doing it for less than a week now. But I’ve been making progress, and already I feel happier.
I feel more hopeful.
I am feeling more grateful again 🙂
What is the point of me telling you all this you might ask?
It’s many things.
Firstly, even positive, glass half-full people suffer from doubt and insecurity. Don’t be fooled into thinking the rose-coloured glasses through which they present their life makes them perfect… far from it.
Secondly. You can start any day you want to make your life better. You just have to decide when you want it to be better.
Third. You don’t even have to wait for a new year, a new decade… You can start any day, any second.
Life is waiting for you now, and if you keep putting personal growth and learning off, you may forever be putting your life off.
I’ve always said, you don’t need to wait for a new year. Be assured that whatever resolutions you’ve made yourself for the new year… if you find you can’t stick to them longer than a month, week or day…
You can always start again. Whenever you want.
Because every moment is a chance to try again.
Happy New Whatever-You-Want-It-To-Be.
Photo by Jared Erondu on Unsplash